1 too many.

I haven't had much to say lately, school is over and I worked my last day at HyVee. I've been teaching myself to crochet. It's been a really good therapeutic way to think without focusing on sadness. I'm making a blanket so it's a long project, and something I can use later and think of her. 

Also, exciting news, me and Devin got engaged! We went to the Final Four volleyball games last night (Go Huskers.) and afterwards he asked me by Christmas light trees; adorably whispering and I only teared up when he told me how much he loves Sawyer. I can't imagine getting through any of this without him beside me.

I went to my first counseling appointment, which was helpful because I could rant and ramble and not hurt anyone's feelings. I've also been reading the book Silent Risk. The author & Doctor researches cord issues in pregnancy and after talking with him I just have a lot of mixed feelings. I just want the cord to be looked at regularly, and for people to advocate for their pregnancy. We're made to feel safe and like everything's okay, but sometimes it isn't. And we don't know that until it's too late. I don't care that it's 1%, I wouldn't care if it was 1/1,000,000 or Sawyer was the only stillbirth, losing my child was 1 too many. Just like every child lost is 1 too many.