Does a grieving heart heal?

I'm trying to decide on books to buy. Books about stillbirth and grieving, but instead I purchased a book called Someone Came Before You. My daughter was born still 3 weeks ago, and when I saw the books that explain stillbirth to a younger sibling, I was drawn to it. My priority right now is to keep Sawyer as an active part of our family, and not just today or this year but forever. While I read the information on these books about grief I just keep trying to figure out what stage of grief I'm stuck in. Because I feel stuck. There is not a part of me wanting to well up and cry every minute of the day, or any minutes of some days. I know that Sawyer's gone, I love talking about her, and sometimes I can't handle facing any of the truths in her death but other times I feel content knowing she's in the most beautiful place.
One book, Healing Your Grieving Heart After Stillbirth, by Alan Wofelt, has practical ideas for parents and families. I'm debating if I actually want to purchase the book, but in the 'sample' version you can see the chapter names. There are 100 chapters, so I'm guessing each one is the title for whatever the practical ideas inside are. The chapters include six needs of mourning: Acknowledge the reality of death, embrace the pain of loss, remember the baby who died, develop a new self-identity, search for meaning, and receive ongoing support from others. I don't see a choice in these needs though.
Holding my lifeless daughter screamed the reality of death in my face. I embraced her, in turn embracing the pain of losing her when I handed her to the nurse and said my last goodbye. I remember her constantly, I look in the mirror and see her nose and I try to do homework but instead end up typing this post. A new self-identity was handed to me, mom of an angel; there's no avoiding this new identity and the new path that my life will take because of our loss. Searching for meaning comes in the forms of tears asking why, or when people ask what happened, because we have no answers and so searching for meaning will forever be a part of my new self-identity. And receiving ongoing support from others, well that's the one I can consider a need of mourning that isn't handed to you. I wouldn't be okay if I didn't have support from family and friends that ask how I am, how Devin is, and remind us that they love her.
This is what happens when I look through books, I see all of the things that have been handed to others, the same they were handed to me. And all I want is the answer, the key to feeling okay and remembering Sawyer every day. The secret code to how she gets to be a part of everything that every other baby I see all over my timeline born or expected to be. And there isn't one. There's not a book with the words I need to read, and I can't write them, because the words don't exist. There isn't a book with the words to heal my grieving heart after stillbirth. There's just prayer, and the monkey I sleep with that has her name embroidered on it, and people reading this blog. That's all I can do to heal my heart, remember Sawyer.