Things They Say...

They say things were painful, followed by "and I've had a baby"...
They say guys should feel what it's like to have a baby, they even have simulations of birth...
They say it's the worst pain possible...
They say induction is the worst kind of labor...
Birth was the easy part. I went to the hospital, checked in, my midwife started medicine to help my cervix soften at 1:00pm and they told us it would be morning before I would deliver. The plan was to get an epidural as soon as I started to feel uncomfortable, why be uncomfortable for hours when I was already emotionally drained? So around 5:30, my contractions were constant and I went ahead and got the epidural. The pain was equivalent to getting an IV, and I'm not bothered by needles. At 7:00pm we were going to check my dilation and put in another dose of the cervix softening medicine. By 7 my contractions were constant enough that I just got a very, very small dose of medicine to help contractions, and at 10:36pm Sawyer Lee Anderson was born. It was a short, easy, painless delivery. The worst pain was not hearing the cry of my baby, not feeling her squeeze my finger or getting to feed her. The worst pain possible was our parents walking in crying, sobbing, instead of grinning ear to ear, to meet their granddaughter. I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone, there's no simulation of how that feels. The worst kind of labor is the one followed by a silent room, no rolling bassinet with a newborn in it, and the worst pain after labor is walking out of the hospital with no car seat.

They say you don't get any sleep as a new parent...
I agree, as a new parent you get no sleep. Especially when your nights are lonely, no diapers to change or bottles to make, no baby to rock back to sleep. Just a dark space, wide eyed and not tired, alone. And I can't imagine a worse way to lose sleep. I can't imagine ever feeling tired from being up changing diapers or feeding a baby after this kind of lost sleep. I lay awake and talk to Sawyer without speaking a word, and she can hear me. That's the worst way to lose sleep.

They say to cherish your last moments as a couple, alone...
Did I worry about this? Of course. I thought a million times how me and Devin would never get time to ourselves after we get married eventually, and now I wish I never thought it once. I would trade ever getting a second alone. Sure, I'll still want time to go on dates when we have more children, but right now I can't imagine ever 'regretting' not having enough time alone. We have so much time alone. So much silent time alone, both thinking the same things and missing Sawyer. She still surrounds our every second together. We didn't have a 'deadline' to our last nights together, we thought we had 8 more weeks before our baby would arrive. So worry less about having your moments alone, and more about cherishing time as a family. Because even when you're pregnant, you're not alone. Those ears can hear, that heart loves, and your baby is with you every second.

They say a lot of things that sound scary, sound intimidating. I can promise you that no matter how much you prepare, no matter how many pinterest posts you read, you aren't "ready". But you'll figure it out. And nothing can be worse than losing your child, but even that is something that can be 'figured out' and your life, forever changed, will keep going when you become a parent. 

They say your life is forever changed, that you'll never love anything more...
They're right.